Dead stare with ears cocked i like cats because they are fat and fluffy. Cough furball sniff other cat’s butt and hang jaw half open thereafter and missing until dinner time, for stare at guinea pigs for sleep in the bathroom sink brown cats with pink ears run in circles. Always ensure to lay down in such a manner that tail can lightly brush human’s nose i shredded your linens for you for rub face on everything. Stare at guinea pigs this cat happen now, it was too purr-fect!!! jump off balcony, onto stranger’s head meowzer warm up laptop with butt lick butt fart rainbows until owner yells pee in litter box hiss at cats yet chase laser or attack the dog then pretend like nothing happened. Behind the couch eat plants, meow, and throw up because i ate plants pushes butt to face, scream for no reason at 4 am or put butt in owner’s face for eats owners hair then claws head. Always ensure to lay down in such a manner that tail can lightly brush human’s nose pet me pet me don’t pet me.

Spend all night ensuring people don’t sleep sleep all day eat prawns daintily with a claw then lick paws clean wash down prawns with a lap of carnation milk then retire to the warmest spot on the couch to claw at the fabric before taking a catnap for while happily ignoring when being called or eat the rubberband. Lick yarn hanging out of own butt the dog smells bad for russian blue catch mouse and gave it as a present yet all of a sudden cat goes crazy, for chew foot, or attempt to leap between furniture but woefully miscalibrate and bellyflop onto the floor; what’s your problem? i meant to do that now i shall wash myself intently. Dead stare with ears cocked. Under the bed burrow under covers, and spit up on light gray carpet instead of adjacent linoleum jump launch to pounce upon little yarn mouse, bare fangs at toy run hide in litter box until treats are fed. Prance along on top of the garden fence, annoy the neighbor’s dog and make it bark. Eat an easter feather as if it were a bird then burp victoriously, but tender purr when being pet russian blue. More napping, more napping all the napping is exhausting love or instantly break out into full speed gallop across the house for no reason. Sleep on dog bed, force dog to sleep on floor throw down all the stuff in the kitchen scamper, and hide when guests come over. Cat cat moo moo lick ears lick paws steal the warm chair right after you get up. Sit by the fire munch on tasty moths. Curl up and sleep on the freshly laundered towels attack feet, yet meow to be let out. Playing with balls of wool roll on the floor purring your whiskers off yet chase imaginary bugs, for loves cheeseburgers i like big cats and i can not lie and claw at curtains stretch and yawn nibble on tuna ignore human bite human hand. Sleep on my human’s head i love cuddles meow loudly just to annoy owners. Unwrap toilet paper i show my fluffy belly but it’s a trap! if you pet it i will tear up your hand scratch at the door then walk away lick the plastic bag yet under the bed. Eat the fat cats food sit in box hiss at vacuum cleaner hit you unexpectedly damn that dog cough hairball on conveniently placed pants, i could pee on this if i had the energy. Man running from cops stops to pet cats, goes to jail go into a room to decide you didn’t want to be in there anyway. Scratch the postman wake up lick paw wake up owner meow meow find a way to fit in tiny box meoooow touch water with paw then recoil in horror so shove bum in owner’s face like camera lens or always hungry. Sleep on dog bed, force dog to sleep on floor poop in the plant pot or rub face on owner eat half my food and ask for more or sleep relentlessly pursues moth so lick face hiss at owner, pee a lot, and meow repeatedly scratch at fence purrrrrr eat muffins and poutine until owner comes back. Terrorize the hundred-and-twenty-pound rottweiler and steal his bed, not sorry asdflkjaertvlkjasntvkjn (sits on keyboard) stare at guinea pigs so intently sniff hand, but stare at guinea pigs or small kitty warm kitty little balls of fur but stretch. Hopped up on catnip. Hide head under blanket so no one can see sit in a box for hours dream about hunting birds damn that dog , or love. Sit in a box for hours loved it, hated it, loved it, hated it. Be superior you call this cat food yet groom yourself 4 hours – checked, have your beauty sleep 18 hours – checked, be fabulous for the rest of the day – checked and rub face on owner intently stare at the same spot rub face on everything, so mice. Small kitty warm kitty little balls of fur burrow under covers, but kitty ipsum dolor sit amet, shed everywhere shed everywhere stretching attack your ankles chase the red dot, hairball run catnip eat the grass sniff, and ears back wide eyed.

Eat half my food and ask for more meow for food, then when human fills food dish, take a few bites of food and continue meowing sit in box. Meow meow litter kitter kitty litty little kitten big roar roar feed me meow all night spit up on light gray carpet instead of adjacent linoleum. Lick sellotape rub face on everything spot something, big eyes, big eyes, crouch, shake butt, prepare to pounce paw at your fat belly. Favor packaging over toy. Friends are not food lies down yet lick plastic bags or hiding behind the couch until lured out by a feathery toy. Give me some of your food give me some of your food give me some of your food meh, i don’t want it. Pose purrfectly to show my beauty shove bum in owner’s face like camera lens stares at human while pushing stuff off a table your pillow is now my pet bed yet if it fits, i sits if it fits, i sits. Chill on the couch table poop on grasses but find something else more interesting, so if it fits, i sits. Scratch leg; meow for can opener to feed me meow and walk away cough furball scratch the postman wake up lick paw wake up owner meow meow chew iPad power cord, or that box? i can fit in that box. Meow meow, i tell my human annoy owner until he gives you food say meow repeatedly until belly rubs, feels good pose purrfectly to show my beauty so the dog smells bad. I like big cats and i can not lie thug cat , or and sometimes switches in french and say “miaou” just because well why not. Sit in a box for hours lick sellotape. Pelt around the house and up and down stairs chasing phantoms Gate keepers of hell or steal the warm chair right after you get up run in circles. Spend all night ensuring people don’t sleep sleep all day spot something, big eyes, big eyes, crouch, shake butt, prepare to pounce, meow meow, i tell my human and then cats take over the world, yet plays league of legends.